The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Tanis Harms, Community Learning Network

4 19 November 2024

I look forward to this time every year as I find great joy in being prepared, shopping, and giving gifts! Wholeheartedly I would agree with the saying “it’s better to give than receive.” However, don’t get me wrong – I also like receiving gifts!!! My love for both giving and receiving gifts extends beyond this season, to any and every month of the year. I am always looking for reasons to give and to celebrate. How in the world can I afford this you may wonder? I can’t. This is why I love giving gifts that are meaningful while at the same time not continually emptying my wallet!

What if I encouraged you to incorporate both giving and receiving a gift to yourself every day, week, or month of the year? The gift I’m talking about is self-care – the gift that keeps on giving.

I can imagine some of you may feel an urge to click “close” and stop reading on. Perhaps you have “heard it before”, maybe the concept of caring for yourself stirs up a response of feelings like guilt, indifference, or there may be other reasons that come to mind as to why this topic is not for you. Please consider the reasons behind both giving and receiving this gift, in how it can be effective for yourself as well as for those you work with, play with, learn with, and live with.

The National Institute of Mental Health shares that, “Self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. This can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact.”

To be honest, I have a lot of excuses that regularly come to my mind as to why I should NOT intentionally care for myself. Here are a few…

Excuses to avoid Self-Care:

I need to be focused on the ones “needing” care (namely the other people I’m helping).
I don’t have time for self-care.
I feel like self-care is selfish (thinking about me, me, me).
I don’t have the funds needed for self-care.
I don’t know what to do for self-care.

As I have been pondering this whole “self-care” concept, and with the reality of a blog coming due, my thoughts led me to wonder if any CALP staff also use these excuses while working in our “Helping Others” CALP world. In case you also have trouble prioritizing self-care, please read on.

Addressing the Excuses:

I need to be focused on the ones “needing” care (namely the other people I’m helping).

Who determines who needs care? I know that I often get exhausted caring for others, and therefore I just might fit into the “needing care” category as well at times…perhaps if I cared for myself well I would be better equipped to help others.

I don’t have time for self-care.

Lack of time. Have we ever woken up in the morning thinking or saying “there is so much time available in my life that I don’t know what to do with it all?” Not yet. Perhaps that day may come for me, and perhaps it has already come for some of you. Regardless, we all have choices in how to spend the time entrusted to us, and I know I do not always choose well. I need to choose to invest time in self-care – whether it’s for 5 or 50 or 500 minutes. Schedule it into your calendar if you need to. An appointment with yourself to help recharge you for the demands of life is an appointment worth keeping.

I feel like self-care is selfish (thinking about me, me, me).

Yes, I agree. It’s also perhaps arrogant to think others need help but I am a super woman who doesn’t ever need a break or to be cared for...hmm selfish or arrogant…both such flattering descriptions…

I don’t have the funds needed for self-care.

I still think that anyone who lives in Alberta, and perhaps even more so those in Northern Alberta, should receive an annual all-expense paid vacation to a tropical destination to help us withstand our winters – who's with me? Until this dream comes true though, there are probably things that don’t cost a lot of money that would still make a big difference in caring for myself (ahem…please see 20 such ideas that I found below).

5. I don’t know what to do for self-care.

Yup – sometimes I just don’t take the time to truly think through what self-care I can be doing, which instead of sparking an interest to explore ideas often instead leads me to do nothing. Therefore, I added to my learning from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIH) and found Canadian Living had a great, short, research-based article on the importance of self-care which included practical, easy, and inexpensive ideas (drat – there goes some of my excuses). I have shared ideas from both the NIH website and the Canadian Living article below.

Exercise – this may illicit a groan or a cheer depending on who you are…but I think we all agree that we feel better in our heart and mind when our body has moved. Just 30 minutes of walking every day can boost our mood and improve our health…and the 30 minutes don’t all have to be done at once – small amounts at a time add up too!
Eat healthy, regular meals – we’ve heard it before, but a balanced diet can improve our energy and focus throughout the day.
Add scents to your bath or shower - add a relaxing scent like lavender or peppermint; alternatively citrus could be used as an energizer.
Treat Yourself with a little splurge - maybe it’s a new patterned notebook (hello Dollar Store), a specialty coffee/tea, or a beautiful but affordable bouquet from the grocery store.
Stay hydrated – if you find it hard to drink a lot of water try adding citrus fruits, cucumbers or mint to it.
Be creative – get colouring or start crafting.
Plan a spa day – professionally or at home (paint your nails, get a massage, soak your feet and then lather with lotion).
Start an indulgent post-shower ritual – like using nice lotion in a scent you love or cozying up in a soft robe or comfy pj’s or slippers.
Go outside – enjoy fresh air by going for a walk, sitting on a deck/patio, or even going hunting! We all know exercising is beneficial too which could double up with this one…
Set screen time limits - for yourself (have specific times each day where you choose to be tech-free).
Just say no – decide what must get done and the activities you need to participate in…and which ones can wait or even get “cut” from your schedule or list.
Spend time reading – perfect for literacy staff! Read fiction, non-fiction – anything!
Pet a dog or cat
Cuddle up with a loved one (see idea #10 if applicable)
Listen to music – and even dance if you want to!
De-clutter – de-cluttering any area feels good, and don’t forget your social media accounts too.
Bake something – for yourself, or as a surprise to someone else.
Get organized – pick a small area in your home, office or car to tackle and get to it!
Write it out – find a great journal (see #2 above) and write down everything and anything to express yourself. Don’t know where to start? Write down specific things that you are grateful for.
Deep breathing exercises – this can reduce your heart rate and blood pressure.
Laugh – spend time with the people, shows, books, cartoons, or whatever brings a hearty chuckle.
Get enough sleep – at night or with cat naps during the day if needed.

Open and Explore the Gift

Self-care looks different for everyone. Discover what you enjoy and what you need and do it. It may take you a little bit of exploring a few ideas until you find the best gifts for you to give and receive, but I assure you it is well worth it.

What do you do for self-care in order to be in a place to care for and help others in the CALP world? Please share in the comments section below!
Want to further the discussion on self-care? Join in the Wellness Lunch and Learn Series: Self-Care on Tuesday, December 3.